Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters, they belong to Sunrise and Toei. I also don't own the concept of "Will & Grace", that belongs to NBC.
Author's Notes: So far, I've been giving Heero and Trowa some kind of personality, so forgive me if that's kind of OOC. Remember, this is a sitcom; expect the unexpected. Well, last episode, I introduced one more Gundam guy. Now, for the last one. Maybe. I don't know. Just keep reading to find out if I'm going to show him or not. Aren't I evil?
Wing & Grace (Episode 4)
Dorothy woke up and found herself in her giant golden limousine. Again.
"Oh God... What was I drinking last night?" the blonde girl asked herself while rubbing her throbbing head.
She decided to go through another mental checklist.
She remembered that yesterday, she went out for drinks with a potential employer, and an old friend. But, she had much more than she expected. Fast forward a few hours later, maybe into the evening.
Next thing that happened: she woke up, with a hangover, outside a circus with her friend. And before leaving the car, they talked. Then she was given the job position.
Okay, now she was wandering the circus grounds and heard some kind of ruckus. Went to investigate it, and found Miss Relena.
Felt really embarrassed, and offered to drive her home. Relena left her alone so that she could be with that Barton boy.
What did she do while waiting for Miss Relena? Oh yeah, she told her associate that she wouldn't be able to give him a ride home. He kindly brushed it off and said that he'll take a cab instead.
Okay, drove Miss Relena home, but still woozy. So she parked the car outside and slept inside. What did she say about that again?
"Oh crap. I'm actually going to be early for work!"
"Have I gone soft?" she asked herself. "Oh God, I hope not!"
Whirling around frantically, Dorothy crawled from the backseat to the driver's seat. Adjusting the rear-view mirror to actually take in the full reflection of her face, Dorothy took in a deep breath. Exhaling, she smirked maliciously.
"You are still the bitch. The bitch! War is not as glorious as it was, but a good fencing match delivers quite the rush. You are the most talented, most beautiful, rich and calculating woman on Earth and the colonies. You know that, don't you?"
She tweaked one of her eyebrows and then smoothed back a stray lock of blonde hair. Playfully puckering her lips, she winked at herself and prepared for the day.
She rolled down one of the windows and looked off into the sunrise. She shook her fist at the sky, saying:
"Alright. I'm done with my daily affirmation. Come on world, bring it on!"
Then, Dorothy paused. She reached into the glove compartment and took out a little golden flask. She unscrewed the top, took a hefty swig, and wiped her lips with a satisfied sigh.
"First, I just need some courage."
For the first time in years, Relena was actually able to take her time in the morning.
"I'm so glad that Dorothy can be relied on for once," she said to herself.
She sniffed the air and her nose caught a very familiar and welcomed scent. She lazily made her way to the little kitchenette.
"Mmm... Caffeine good..."
Picking up a steaming pot of fresh coffee, Relena took a sip from the rim.
"Ah! Hot!" she yelped.
She dropped the coffee pot back into its place and stole a glance back at Heero's still sleeping form on the couch.
The Perfect Soldier turned over and moaned and muttered something incoherent.
"I wonder how long it'll be before I tell him that I actually have a guest room for him to use," she asked aloud.
"You'll tell me today, and you'll tell me that I can move in right away," Heero grumbled quietly.
A shocked look crossed Relena's face. "How long were you listening?"
He turned over again and got up from his makeshift bed.
"I was listening ever since you burned your tongue." He looked up at the clock above her head. "Why are you up so early? And how come you're not screeching like a banshee at me?"
"Well, I'm up early because I've got an early meeting and I'm excited because I can actually rely on Dorothy for once." Relena smiled proudly until the effect of the last sentence kicked in. "And for your information, I do not screech like a banshee at you!"
Heero rubbed his ears. "That's right. You're just as quiet as Quatre is poor."
"But Quatre's not poor."
Relena "hmph"-ed, pouted, and crossed her arms. "Expect a very special, and very early banshee wake-up call for the rest of the week."
Heero could only groan. He sauntered next to her behind the kitchenette counter and leaned against it.
"Please answer this little question of mine. Why is Dorothy actually early?"
Relena stopped pouting and thought for a second. "Oh. That's because she's passed out in her car. Which is parked outside."
Heero nodded. "Care to tell me why she's passed out?"
"Oh, she went out for drinks after dropping us off-"
"Which she also 'forgot' to pick us up."
"As I recall, you did too."
"And I'm still sorry about that. Think of those wake-up calls as payback."
"It kinda bothers me that you actually forgot about something."
"I was just excited about my new job. And your message got misplaced. But we're getting off topic here. Now, how did you meet up with Dorothy?"
"Well... I met Catherine outside of the office-"
"Wait, wait. You're not talking about Trowa's Catherine? Perky circus sister?"
"The very same one."
"Well, she drove me to the circus to meet Trowa. You know, catch up on old times. Anyways, we got into a little accident, but other than that, I'm fine. Now, I whip out my checkbook and then Dorothy comes bursting in!"
"So she was at the circus too? Wonder how she got there."
"I don't know. But she takes one look at me and tucks her tail between her legs. So when Trowa and I are done talking, she drove me home."
"Next time you see her, ask her how she ended up at the circus. It's quite suspicious."
"You think everything is suspicious."
"Do not." He took the coffee pot, which had cooled down considerably, and took a sip. Then, he perked up, grabbed the rest of the coffee maker, kicked open the balcony doors, and hucked it off the balcony.
Relena stared at him in disbelief. "What did you do that for?!"
He gave her a "What?!" look. "The coffee tasted suspiciously bitter," he said matter-of-factly.
"That's because I forgot to change the filter! Thanks for reminding me though. But I guess that it's too late now."
Relena glanced up at her wristwatch. "Look, I'm going to be late. You will help me buy a new coffee maker next week. And don't be late for work!" She grabbed her briefcase and made her way to the door.
"Wait! How am I going to get to work?" Heero asked his room mate.
Relena leaned against the open door and quirked an eyebrow at him. "You're carpooling with Duo, right?"
"Since when did you guys agree on this?"
"Since I dropped by their apartment last night."
"You are pure evil. You do know that, don't you?"
"Nope, I'm only second in command next to Dorothy."
Heero gave her the Death Glare™©®, albeit was a little light-hearted. "Omae o koruso." He smirked.
Relena smiled back at him. "And I love you too. Seriously, I have to go to work now."
"Bye." Relena slammed the door behind her.
Heero looked around the empty apartment.
"Thirty minutes before Duo and Hilde pick me up. I guess I can start looking for my tools before I start repairing Mr. Coffee."
Relena walked out the large doors of the mansion/apartment and made her way to the large golden limo.
She could make out Dorothy, who was settled behind the wheel.
As she crossed the parking lot, she quickly stepped over the remains of her now shattered home appliance.
"Good morning Dorothy! Let's get rolling!" Relena called to her secretary. She stepped around the front of the car and made her way to the passenger side.
"You're quite chipper this morning, Miss Relena," Dorothy replied.
"You know, I would think that you would have quit calling me 'Miss Relena' by now."
"Old habits die hard."
"Care to tell me why were you unreliable yesterday?"
"You know that business associate I told you about?"
"Yes. Although I highly doubt his existence."
"I assure you. He's quite real as you and I are."
"Sure Dorothy. Just drive."
Dorothy started the car up and revved the engine loudly. "Now, you know the rules."
Relena nodded her head. "I know, I know. Sit down, shut up, and buckle yourself in. I got the drill."
"Actually, those are the truck's rules. The rules for the limo are: don't spill anything on the interior and then sit down, shut up, and buckle yourself in."
The light blonde haired girl released the brakes and stepped on the gas. And the golden luxury car screeched out of the parking lot, leaving a large dust cloud in its wake.
Duo was driving Heero and Hilde in his car. Unfortunately, there was a traffic jam and all three of them were barely out of the parking lot.
"Damn it! Why did rush hour suddenly grind to a halt?" complained Duo. He angrily slammed his fists against the steering wheel.
"There was an accident a few meters ahead," Heero simply said from the passenger seat.
Hilde leaned over from the back to look out ahead. "I don't think that a flying filing cabinet landing on a car counts as an accident."
"If you want to blame someone, blame Sally. She's still sore about Wufei," replied Heero.
"And he's still sore," added Duo.
"I knew she was angry, but not enough to throw a desk at him," said Hilde.
"Uh, wasn't it a filing cabinet?"
"No, that came after she missed him with the cabinet."
Relena stepped outside the embassy to find that she was stranded. Yet again. No Dorothy, no Heero, no Catherine. It was too late for any of them to be out at this time.
"Aw hell! This is the third time this has happened!" Relena cursed mildly. "With my luck, I'll probably find a new boyfriend not that my options have run out."
She began to search the area, to find that the only person left in the area was the night guard.
From behind, he had blonde hair that faintly resembled Quatre's.
Maybe it was Quatre? It had been a while since Relena had seen him.
She cautiously approached the man and tapped him on the shoulder. He whirled around, gun in hand. He looked almost exactly like an older Quatre, if he wasn't wearing blue-tinted glasses in front of his eyes, or a head band across his forehead. But she did like how his bangs hung over the dark navy material.
"What do you want?!" he snapped. "Oh! Vice Foreign Minister Dorlain! I'm sorry!" He looked down at the gun in his hands. "Uh, this is a tranq gun. I'm a pretty good shot, but I'm still a good shot."
She gasped. He has Heero's soldier instincts and personality, but looks like a matured Quatre. I think I'm in love!
Relena smiled and blushed like a school girl. "No harm done... Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name."
The boy tucked the gun back into its holster and saluted. "That's because I didn't say what it was, ma'am. It's Lieutenant Alex."
Alex relaxed. "What are you doing out here all alone, Minister Dorlain?"
"Oh, you don't have to call me that. Call me Relena, please."
"Yes... Relena. Now, would you care to tell me why someone like you is outside all alone?"
"Well, it seems that I've made prior arrangements with some friends to ride back home, but they seem to have had other plans. In other words, I'm stranded."
The Quatre look-alike bowed his head. "Well, Relena, I hope that you won't mind if I offer a wonderful woman like you a ride."
Relena giggled. "I wouldn't mind at all! Thank you."
Alex looked at his wristwatch and pushed his visor back up against his eyes. "I'm off duty in a few minutes, I can give you a ride by then."
"But it's so late, and I'm sure you must be starved. Why don't I treat you to dinner first?"
"I don't know..."
"It's on me. Think of it as me saying thank you."
"And I say you're very welcome."
Relena and Alex entered the fancy restaurant, but were stopped by the maitre'd.
"Excuse madame et monseiur, I'm afraid that you don't have a reservation."
Alex reached his pocket to offer him a bribe, but Relena stopped him by pulling out a card. She handed it to the man, who looked it over. As realization dawned on him, his features started to show shock.
"I'm certain that there are a few diplomatic privileges, aren't there?" asked Relena.
"Uh, ah, yes! Of course there are madame! Please, come this way!"
[Some time passes...]
Relena and Alex sat at their table, eating, talking, and laughing.
"So, care to tell me about your friends?" asked Relena.
"Actually, friend. His name is Mueller and he's been with me since military school," replied Alex. His voice started to fill with excitement. "We've been through so much together, we've almost even been killed together, by the same guy. We pretty much spent the remainder of the wars in a hospital. And-"
"Wait. I think I know where this might be going," said Relena.
"How close are you and Mueller? Close enough to share a room together?"
"Well... We bunked together during military school."
"Uh-huh. Share the same bed?"
"No. We haven't done that before."
"Are you willing to try?"
"No! What does this have to do with out date?"
"It just has to do with everything."
"Are you implying that I'm gay?"
Relena sighed. "I've pretty much made the mistake for falling for them."
"Oh. I assure you, I am one-hundred percent attracted to women. Why, my first crush was Miss Noin, my drill instructor. Boy, I would have liked to perform some drills on her..."
"Hey! I'd like to let you know that she has been taken. By my brother."
"Milliardo Peacecraft? Formerly Zechs Merquise?"
"Yes. And I'm sure he'd kick your ass for even thinking about laying a hand on her."
Alex's eyes were lost in thought and he leaned back in his chair. "Huh. Isn't that a kick in the teeth? He's the guy that almost killed me and Mueller!"
"This conversation just took an awkward turn, didn't it?"
Relena stuck her arm out, trying to flag down a waiter. "Check please!"
Heero was getting worried. Relena had been out for a long time.
"If I were Relena, why would I stay out late? And without my bodyguard, no less. Late day at the office? No..."
Suddenly, the door burst open and a happy Relena came waltzing inside. "Guess what?!" she cried out happily.
"Um... You're home late and you kept your gay room mate slash bodyguard worried about you for hours on end?"
"No. I just went out on a date!"
As soon as that was said, Duo came inside through the still open door.
Heero glared at the braided boy. "Why are you here?"
"I heard the word date come out of Relena's mouth. I was wondering if she was setting you up with someone. Preferably a certain violet-eyed, chestnut braided boy." He pranced over to Heero looked dreamily into his face. "I love long-moonlit walks on the beach, and I especially enjoy an endless night of lube-involved passion after the Tony awards. All on the first date."
"The Tony awards aren't on for another few months," said Relena.
"I have it on tape."
"No, it's not a date with you," said Heero. "Relena just went out on one."
Duo stopped making the googly eyes at Heero and turned around to face Relena with intrigue. "My, my. Out little princess has grown up! Who's the lucky girl?"
"Why do you think I'm gay?"
"I dunno. I thought Heero would have rubbed off on you."
Heero cleared his throat. "Duo, out."
"Okay. Spoilsport." Duo sulked back to his apartment. As soon as he was out in the hall, "Oh! I smell steak."
Heero had just shut the door. "And that is that."
Relena relaxed on the couch and grabbed the remote.
"Turn it to the news," called Heero.
Relena changed the channel, but she craned her head so that she could see Heero working on making dinner in the kitchen.
"Even if they're gay, all men still jockey for control over the remote."
"Hey. It's a guy-thing. Now, what do you want to have?"
"No thanks. I just ate."
"Well, why don't you sit down with me and tell about it?"
She dropped the remote on the cushions and got up to her room mate at the little table to side of the living area.
The two were so caught in their conversation, that they didn't notice the latest breaking news story.
"In today's news, Quatre Winner of the Winner Resource Satellite conglomerate just hired former Romefeller member Dorothy Catalonia as a junior partner of his company."
A clip of the two shaking hands in a board room was shown and quickly flashed back to the announcer.
"In other news..."
End Episode 4
Additional Author's Notes: I hope that you enjoyed Quatre's little cameo, along with Alex's.