Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters, they belong to Sunrise and Toei. I also don't own the concept of "Will & Grace", that belongs to NBC.
Author's Notes: I will now give the people what they want. More Gundam guys and gals! Aw Hell, just watch the show.
Wing & Grace (Episode 2)
The morning had so far been quite serene, until the inhabitants of the apartment were awake.
"OH HEEEEEROOOOO!!!" shrieked Relena. "Wake up!"
The Perfect Soldier, jerked out of his slumber, comically fell off the couch and landed on the hardwood floor with a thud.
"You're finally awake. I knew that would get your attention."
Heero rubbed his aching head. "Oh... You've been doing that to me ever since I moved in."
Relena giggled. "Just a little payback for leaving me alone for all these years."
Heero sighed in defeat. "What do I have to do to make it up to you?"
"The first thing you could do is get a job."
"Who would take in a former Gundam pilot?"
"Wufei, Sally, and Lady Une work there. And I'm sure that I can give you a recommendation."
As if on time, Duo burst through the door. "It's me!"
Hilde hopped inside after Duo and dramatically spread her arms out. "And me!"
"The Twins of Death!" they cried while performing a dramatic pose.
"Team Rocket, eat your hearts out," Duo said dryly.
"You're not the only group with a butch girl and seemingly gay guy!" added Hilde.
"Don't you think James is just so cute?" replied Duo.
"Hi Duo! Hi Hilde!" happily greeted Relena.
"Hello Duo. Hilde," Heero said curtly.
"So... What's up with my 'are we or are we not' couple?" asked Hilde.
"Heero is going to get a job," Relena announced proudly.
Duo clapped his hands together. "Oh! Now he can provide for his little missus and all the children!"
Heero growled. "We're not married."
Hilde waved her hand. "Of course you two aren't married. We were just joking."
Duo clasped his hands behind his back and started to rock back and forth on his heels. "Heero, you need to be physically fit to get in. And with the way you're stuffing yourself with those pancakes, seems that someone is getting a little pudgy."
Heero stopped eating for a second. Then he shrugged and continued. "Thinking of getting a job yourself?"
Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Eh. What the hey? I might as well make some money in case the play thing is a flop."
Relena nodded approvingly. "What do you say, Hilde?"
Before the German girl could reply, Duo cut her off. "No way! You promised that you wouldn't fight! At all. Now, I expect you to keep your word."
"If I recall, it seems that Hilde already broke that promise with that daring infiltration of the Libra," quipped Relena. "Now, what do you say, Hilde?"
Hilde placed her hands on her hips. "Come hell or high water, I'm not going to let Maxwell drag me down as well. If he doesn't make it, I might as well be the one wearing the pants and bringing home the bacon."
Duo crossed his arms and pouted cutely. "Damn gay! You wear the pants. Too bad you don't bring home sausage instead of bacon."
Heero looked up from his food and turned around to face the other live-in couple. He raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Duo, aren't you supposed to say 'Damn straight'?"
"I'm trying to change it to suit my people's needs."
Tapping the watch on her wrist, Relena drew their attention to the time. "I may be able to pull some strings, but I won't be able to do that if we're late!"
Duo threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Rush, rush, rush. Geez, a work schedule has really turned you into domineering bitch."
Duo's girl friend reached her hand over his head, placed it on top, and forced him to look down. Then with a flick of her wrist, Duo's body turned around to face the open door. She pointed out into the empty hallway.
"Duo, I want you to quit teasing Relena. And get ready for our job interviews. March!"
Duo, with his head still bowed down, sulkily moved back to their apartment.
"Aw Hilde. You never let me have any fun!" he whined all the way back.
Hilde, Relena, and Heero just shook their heads.
Wufei and Sally were sharing the giant stack of paperwork in their joint private office. With the peacetime, they weren't able to go out on "fire-prevention" anymore.
The daily grind of the in and out routine was beginning to wear thin on Wufei's temper and Sally's eternal patience.
Exasperated with his pile, he grabbed it, stalked over to Sally's desk, and dropped it in front of her.
Sally rolled her eyes up at him. "Wufei, why can't you do your own paperwork?"
He towered over her. "Because onna, we seem to have an unfair workload."
"Excuse me. Did I hear what I thought you just said?"
"You heard me."
"Since when have we had an unfair workload?"
"Since you became part of the weaker sex."
"What did you just say?!"
"Are you dumb, woman? I am saying that I, the man (a part of the stronger gender), am tired. You are the woman, who is very weak, so you must take the man's burden when he cannot do the work any longer."
Sally was about ready to snap. "You just got lazy and are dumping your work on me!"
Wufei just pointed a finger to her nose and poked at it with each word he spoke. "You should have the capacity to do this work! It's right up there with cooking, cleaning, sex, bearing and raising our young!"
Sally let out a low and infuriated growl. "Do not try me, Chang Wufei."
Wufei's eyes perked up and he looked down at Sally. "What the hell is wrong with you woman? Is it that time of the month again?"
Sally only narrowed her eyes at the Chinese boy.
Wufei crossed his arms and held his chin up in a superior position. He had a smug smile on his face. "I thought so. Losing a little blood is nothing get so hysterical and pissed off about. You know, I've lost more blood during the wars than your entire lifetime of menstruation!"
While Wufei continued to rant on about the fairer sex's biological setbacks, he didn't notice that Sally had gotten up from her desk.
"And another thing woman! I'm sick and tired of that 'call me by my name' crap of yours! You all look the same to me! And you know what? You could just- Hey! Onna, what are you doing? Put me down! Obey woman! This is an-"
Outside of Sally and Wufei's office...
The other Preventer office workers looked up to see Wufei flying across the working area.
The Chinese boy landed with a loud "thud", upside down, against the wall on the other side of the office floor.
Sally stepped out the door and dusted her hands off. She nodded her head, and with a "Hmph!", she re-entered her office and slammed the door shut.
The female staff began to applaud, as did some of the male staff, for they had all grown sick and tired of Wufei Chang's rants on injustice and weak women.
Relena, Heero, Hilde, and Duo stepped out of Dorothy's golden monstrosity of a limo and in front of Preventer headquarters.
It was a towering glass covered skyscraper in downtown. The sun blindingly reflected off the surface and flashed about the city.
Relena moved up to the passenger window and rapped on the glass.
"And Dorothy, don't forget to pick us up at-"
The car drove off, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake.
The other three were hacking and coughing from the exhaust fumes.
In anger, Heero's hand started to inch for his shorts for his spare gun.
Relena held her palm up, to stop him. "Heero, don't. That's Dorothy for you."
Heero reluctantly put the weapon away. "Well, can't I come with you?"
"Heero, you'll still be my bodyguard, but you could at least allow me some freedom. And if you get the job, you'll be doing the same thing that you've always been doing. Except you'll get paid."
"And besides, the embassy is only a block away from the head quarters."
"Hey. A lot can happen within a block."
"Now, now Heero. Don't be tardy!" cried Duo as he and Hilde entered the building.
With one more look back at Relena, who replied with a reassuring nod, Heero followed after his friends.
Wufei was starting to come to. He groggily looked up to find a long brown braid waving in front of his face.
His eyes lolled to the back of his sockets as he started to mutter to himself.
"Oh Nataku, please let this be a part of the concussion..."
Duo looked down on the fallen officer's face. "Heya buddy! Whatcha doing all the way down there?"
Wufei continued to weakly shake his head. "I'm hallucinating... That braided baka is not there. He can't be here! He's stuck on some backwater colony!"
Now, his inane mumblings had crescendoed to hysterical ranting.
Heero looked over the poor man. "He doesn't look too happy to see you."
"Heero? At least there's something good about this... Finally, a man with a sense of justice..." Wufei muttered.
"Yeah, yeah. Wufei, get up. You're looking really weak right now," said Heero.
With a flip, Wufei was back on his feet. "How dare you call me weak! You shall taste my justice!"
Both Heero and Duo made disgusted faces. "Ugh. I'll pass."
Wufei began to look the two over very carefully. "You two still screwing each other silly? Or are you just very good friends? I'm emphasizing the very part here."
Heero just shook his head while Duo was smiling from ear to ear.
"Oh yes we are!" exclaimed Duo happily.
"We're not a couple," Heero said sternly.
The little dragon looked back and forth at the two. "I'm going to believe Yuy's word on this. You can never tell what kind of lies this braided baka will spin. Now, what are you here for?"
Hilde pushed through the two boys to stand before Wufei. "We're here to get jobs with the Preventers."
"Oh yeah. A weak woman like you can make it here in the first and foremost line of defense in the whole of Earth and outer space!"
Hilde stepped forward, grabbed Wufei's arm, and suddenly flipped him onto his back.
"Can a weak woman do that to a high ranking officer, not to mention former war hero, of the Preventers?"
Down on the floor, Wufei looked like he was about to cry. "Injustice... Why today of all days, Nataku? Have I offended you?"
Lady Une was in her spacious office on the top floor. The one that was a floor of its own and had a breath-taking view over the city.
The video phone began to ring, and an incoming message came through.
Une answered it, since she rarely got calls. Unless it was some big emergency, like a new terrorist group or some updates on the terra-forming project on Mars.
She was thinking of establishing a Preventers head quarters there. Maybe Milliardo or Noin would be the one running it.
"Lady Une? Lady Une?" called the voice.
The woman snapped out of her reverie. She put on her most business-like face and had a serious, no-nonsense tone to her voice. "Vice Foreign Minister Dorlain. How may I help you?"
The young politician smiled. "Please, drop the formalities! It's just Relena between the two of us, Lady."
"Oh. Yes. Well, what can I do for you today Relena? It's quite unusual that you'd be calling me. Are you under attack?"
"No, no. Nothing like that. I just wanted you to know that some good friends are in the building. They're looking for jobs."
Lady Une smiled. "Care to tell me who these close friends are?"
"They would be Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, and Hilde Shbeiker."
"Two former Gundam pilots and a former OZ cadet?" she asked incredulously.
Relena frowned. "Is there a problem?"
"No problem at all. I'm just afraid they might get bored. As you can see, it's been pretty slow."
"Ah. I'm sure that they'll be plenty entertained. We've had our own fair share of shenanigans at home, so work will be a welcome break."
"All I have to say is one thing."
Heero, Duo, and Hilde did not know why they were called up to the head office all of a sudden.
Wufei and Sally, who were not speaking to each other, led the way. They didn't even dare look at each other.
Wufei puffed up his chest and crossed his arms. "Maxwell, you're the type who never shuts up. Tell Sally that she does not need to resort to this childish behaviour."
"Isn't that request kinda childish in itself?" asked Duo.
"Shut up and deliver the message."
"Uh... Sally, Wufei says that-"
"I heard," Sally interrupted. "Two can play at this game. Tell Wufei to remember who the child is in this relationship."
"Okay. Wu-man, Miss Po says that-"
"I told you not to call me Wu-man! Now, tell the woman that I am quite mature for my age."
"Tell Wufei that he's acting like a total jackass!"
"Tell the woman to shut up and just go change her tampon!"
"Tell Wufei that it's this kind of behaviour that is only aggravating the situation!"
"Will someone tell those two to stop bickering?!" cried a new voice.
The squabble stopped and everyone's eyes turned to the newcomer of the conversation.
"LADY UNE!" they cried out at once.
The head honcho was standing outside of the massive doors that led to her office. She merely clasped her hands behind her back and nodded at them. "Chang, Po, you're no longer needed here. Thank you for escorting the applicants to my office. You two may leave."
The two officers nodded.
"And please settle your arguments somewhere else. Preferably nowhere near the boss' office. Who does not like loud and petty bickering and can fire your asses off in a second. Good day."
Wufei respectfully bowed his head. "Forgive us, ma'am. We'll leave immediately."
"And Wufei, I've heard what you've been saying to the female staff, and I recommend that you stop immediately."
With that said, they turned on their heels and started to walk away from the grand doors.
"Why do you suddenly play suck up around her?" Sally whispered tersely.
"Because she is the definition of a strong woman with a strong sense of justice!"
Sally just shook her head. "Well, she isn't the one who's gonna fling you across the office for the rest of the month."
Wufei just cringed at the future injustices to be committed.
Heero bravely stepped forward and shook Lady Une's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet again, Lady Une."
The Lady smiled at the Japanese boy. "Heero Yuy. I'm quite surprised to find you here. I'd suspect that you'd be on some vigilante killing spree."
Duo jumped into the conversation. "Ah... You know old Heero here has changed. Now, it's just the occasional non-firearm related murder."
Lady Une raised an eyebrow at the loud boy. "And you must be Duo Maxwell." Then she looked over the two boys at the short haired girl behind them. "Cadet Schbeiker. It's been a long time since I last saw you."
Hilde stood at attention and saluted sternly. "It's quite good to see you to, ma'am! It's been a while since your last moon base inspection."
"Of course. Now that it's destroyed. And you can drop the military preface. The Preventers environment is much more relaxed."
"Good. Now, you must wonder why you three are here."
"Nope. We're in here to get a job," said Duo.
"Don't be a smart ass, Duo," Heero spat out.
"Aw... I know my ass will smart after a while, but I'm willing-"
"Enough!" cried the Lady. It seems that everyone did not want him to continue. "I've seen your records, and I'd like to congratulate you three on becoming the newest members of the Preventers!"
She then shook the hands of the remaining two teenagers. Hilde only smiled while Duo started to dance around the hall.
Heero only smirked. "Relena got us the job, right?"
"Yes. Yes she did."
Duo stopped his dance. "So this was a sham?"
"Oh, hell yes! But I did look at your records, so you can tell that I'm quite impressed either way."
Duo paused for a moment to comprehend everything. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "Eh... As long as I get the job. Now, back to dancing."
The braided American continued to prance around and even got Hilde into the jig.
Heero merely smiled. "Thank you Lady Une. I look forward to seeing you on Monday."
The Perfect Soldier started to walk down the hall, meanwhile grabbing the dancing couple by the ears, taking Shinigami and Hilde with him.
End Episode 2
Additional Author's Notes: So we finally meet Wufei, Sally, and Lady Une. Okay, more Gundam guys to come, I just need the encouragement. Quatre and Trowa will arrive on the scene soon. So don't forget to review!