Chapter 1 - Rivers Cuomo: Closet Otaku?
by Star Otaku and Shinju Meg Uchuno

This was a scene written by me over some speculation between Shinju and I.  The topic of speculation was over whether or not Rivers was an otaku (Japanese anime fan), since there were rumours that a Badtz-Maru sticker and Sailor Moon sticker graced his guitar, and his fascination with all that is Japanese seemed to lead us to that conclusion.

And if he were an otaku, he should also be able to read the fanfiction!

[Deep into the night, Rivers Cuomo sits hunched over a laptop, feeding his closet addiction for anime and fanfiction.  He clicks a link and finds himself at FanFiction.Net and just browses through the fics.  Especially the ones found in the anime sections.  But right now, the Digimon section has held onto his attention.]

Rivers:  These Digimon angst and romance fics are heartfelt, explorative, yet somewhat impersonal.  They're really inspiring me to write more songs... I've already done a fictional point of view with "Hash Pipe", why not write one based on anime?

[Finally, he finds a random author bio page.]

Rivers:  "Shinju Meg Uchuno"?  From the Japanese I learned while I was in Harvard and on tour, that roughly translates into: Meg, Pearl of the Universe.  Wow, that's a great name.

[He continues to read, entranced by her writings.]

Rivers:  She's such a talented writer; plus, being an otaku does help.  I should write a song about her, and call it "Pearl of the Universe".  Hey, what's this now?

[His eye has now caught the link of another authoress on Shinju's favourites list.  He is also intrigued by the name.]

Rivers:  Star Otaku?  Well, any otaku is good in my book!  Let's see what kinds of fics she writes. *clicks on the link* "Butterfly"?!  Oh no!  Not a Pinkerton song-fic!






Chapter 11- Only in Dreams [Part 4]
by Star Otaku

Some notes on me: aside from loving anime, I also love science fiction.

While Gene Roddenberry's "Andromeda Ascendant" and George Lucas' "Star Wars" take first and foremost precedence in my heart, I'm part Trekkie.  And since the only two series that I really know are Deep Space Nine and Voyager, this involves a small cross between those two.

Please enjoy this extremely strange dream about Star Trek and Rivers being kidnapped by aliens.

Rivers Cuomo is abducted by aliens and taken to some space station, a la Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

He's in a space suit, and is being escorted by humanoid aliens with strange proboscises (flattened against their face with strange brown patches and kinda bulbous).  They are also in similar space suits.  Like an astronaut's, white with red lines running across the sides and limbs.

Suddenly, the Hirogen from Star Trek: Voyager come along, and it seems that they're after Rivers for their latest hunt!

A firefight ensues, the humanoids versus the Hirogen.  Phasers and plasma rifles exchanging fire.

The humanoids have formed some kind of block around Rivers as he's backed against a blast door, with a small phaser in his hand while the others have big ass laser firearms.

Unfortunately, the humanoids are taken down, and Rivers is left, backed up against the blast door, and cornered.  The Hirogen stalk towards him...

Rivers palms the little phaser and holds it towards his throat.

The Hirogen stop.

It seems that they want him alive because of his voice.

They then continue to stalk towards him, and Rivers has his finger on the trigger.

He gulps when they're right in front of his face and then-

Can anyone guess what happened to cause AATE (Another Abrupt Trek Ending)?

That's right.

I woke up.





Chapter 14- Meanwhile, Back in the Real World...

Chapter 13- Meanwhile, Back in the Real World...
by Star Otaku

After Shinju and I realized how much of a compilation we had of insane Weezer topics, I asked her what would it be like if I should send this collection to Weezer themselves!

Seriously, I sent the first segment (Rivers Cuomo: Closet Otaku?) to Karl, and I haven't gotten a reply since.

But then again, I found out that it was sent during the time his e-mail was on the fritz, so I just never bothered to resend it.



All the for the better, eh?

[Weezer's hotel room.  Karl is just checking the e-mails, and calls the guys together to read one particular e-mail.]

Karl:  Hey guys!  Check this out!  I've got something that might cheer us up while Mikey's away.

Pat:  Karl, try not to hog the laptop!  I need to update my Special Goodness website too.

Brian:  *smirks* Webmasters need to stick together.

Rivers:  *skeptically* Why should we read this e-mail especially, Karl?

Karl:  Because it's about you.

Pat and Brian:  Woah!  Lemme see!

[The guys gather around Karl and read the e-mail sent by one Star Otaku.]

"Dear Mr. Koch, I hope that you can ask Rivers this question on my behalf.  It starts with the fact that and friend and I have noticed that Rivers has shown some interest in the Japanese culture.  Does he also have an interest for the animation?  What I'm asking is, is Rivers an otaku (fan of Japanese anime)?  I'm sure you're a very busy man, and if Rivers doesn't want to answer the question, I guess that leaves me and my friend to speculate."

[The guys read on about Star and Shinju's "Rivers Cuomo: Closet Otaku?" mini-fic.  When they're done, the all go for some friendly ribbing.]

Karl:  And you said that you were checking out the latest soccer stats!

Pat:  I'll give you the laptop when I'm done with it, just try not to check out the girly animes.

Brian:  Hey Rivers, next town we're in, we'll check out if there are any conventions.

Rivers:  *defensive* That thing cannot be further from the truth!

[Later that night, Rivers sits hunched in front of the laptop while the guys sleep.]

Rivers:  Oh FanFiction.Net... they almost found out about you and my love of anime.  Now, who are these girls and where can I find them?




Chapter 3- WWW: World Wide Weezer