Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, so please don't sue me. This is a work of fiction, so it never happened in the DB world. Please, send me your comments about what you think of my story.
Author's Note: This is one really silly fic, another one for all of you who read "A Night on Fire Mountain". If you've seen how many DBZ products are out there, then you'd understand.
The Dragon Ball cast was sitting lazily at Bulma's home. All of them were gathered in her living room, and some were busy chatting away on their cell phones.
"No! No! NO!! I want the next Capsule Corp. deal to pull through by tomorrow, or else you'll be sitting out on the street!" cried Bulma.
"Rogaine has agreed to let me do another commercial? That's great!" said Krillin.
Business was not going too well that morning. In a huff, everyone who had a bad deal turned off their cell phones.
"Hey Bulma, could you keep your own business deals to yourself? I heard you from across the room," complained Goku. "I guess everyone isn't doing so good today. Let's watch a little TV to take our minds off of everything."
Goku grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV.
"Oh! Turn it up! My new commercial is on!" Chi-Chi pointed out.
On the screen was Chi-Chi, holding a frying pan in her hand.
"Yes, only can the complet set of PC cookware make your meals even better!" The next scene was of Goku, Gohan, and Goten happily stuffing their faces, as Chi-Chi stood behind them, proudly holding the frying pan in her hand.
The next few scenes were the ones of her bringing the frying pan down the rest of the casts' heads. "PC is made of a non-stick surface and plated with 4 layers of stainless steel, so they're bound to last forever!" As the commercial ended, the housewife cheesily smiled.
"No wonder it always hurts," mumbled everyone who had experienced the wrath of Chi-Chi's frying pan.
Goten and Trunks' cell phones ringed simultaneously. They both eagerly picked them up. "We're both being asked to be the opening act for the Backstreet Boys? I don't know, I'll call you later, babe." Both boys hung up.
Chaozu's beeper sounded. Chaozu picked it up and looked at the message across the screen. "I can't believe it! They want me to attend another sci-fi convention as Queen Amidala! I can't stand those things. The way those nerd boys look at me. It's like they don't know that I'm a-"
Chaozu was interrupted by another commercial.
On the screen was the logo for the WWF. Then there was an image of Goku and Vegeta as heavy metal music blasted in the background..
"I swear Kakkarot, I will defeat you!" threatened Vegeta.
"I'll take you on, Vegeta, for the title of the strongest warrior!" replied Goku.
"The battle of the century! Goku vs. Vegeta! Only on the Cable Channel!" ranted the announcer.
Piccolo grunted. "I can't believe that you all sold out just to get a few measly million dollars. I would never do a commercial."
Tien shook his head. "I can't believe that you all would stoop that low," reprimanded the triclops.
Tien's image appeared on the TV. And he was in a battle with Piccolo. They really kicked up some dust.
Piccolo and Tien paused and stopped the fight. They took out some eye-droppers.
"It's not easy being a battling triclops, that's why I use these eye-droppers."
"Battle is not always pretty sight, or a clear one, that's why I take these eye-droppers."
They both tilted their heads back, used the droppers, and resumed fighting.
Everyone stared at the two hypocrites.
"Hey, you guys sold out for millions of dollars, we sold out for BILLIONS," explained Piccolo.
"I didn't say that I stooped lower than all of you," added Tien.
Gohan picked up his cell phone and dialed up a number.
"Who are you calling Gohan?" asked Videl, who was sitting beside her husband.
"I wanna call the toy manufacturing company. Oh! Uh, hello. I'm here to find out about the case for manufacturing action figures of the female cast."
Some chatter could be heard from the little phone.
Videl started the case with Gohan as her lawyer because there weren't many action of the female cast. Only one or two here or there, but there wasn't any real variety. They also wanted to make them action figures, not dolls, and make them more available.
The rest of the female cast soon joined Videl in her crusade. They all gathered round for the result.
Gohan hung up. "It's still dragging out, but they want all of you to go to the studio and do some modeling, just in case."
The girls cheered, and chattered about what clothes they'll wear for the modeling. At least it was one small victory.
18's cell phone went off this time. She casually answered it. Some chattering was also heard. "I'll have to talk to her about it." 18 put her hand over the speaker.
"Chi-Chi, it's Renaissance Pictures from New Zealand. They want us to be stunt doubles on the set of Xena: Warrior Princess. We stay in the islands for the summer while they shoot new episodes."
The teens in the room cheered.
"What parts do we get?" asked Chi-Chi.
"I get Gabrielle, you get Xena. The pay's also good, so, do you wanna take the job?"
Chi-Chi pondered for a moment, and answered, "Sure thing."
18 lifted her hand and answered, "We'll take the gig."
Marron then piped up. "That's reminds me, I got a callback for Sailor Moon stunt double."
"Hey, I don't see Master Roshi here. Where is he?" asked Bulma.
"Last time I heard, he and the Ox King are pushing for a spinoff series, with Yamcha as their lawyer," gruffly replied Vegeta.
"I never knew that Yamcha was a lawyer," everyone murmured.
"Apparently, it's been his new hobby, since he can't find a girlfriend. Anyway, I also wanted my own series, 'The Adventures of Vegeta: Prince of the Saiyans'. It will be about my early conquests over weakling planets. Unfortunately, the network execs didn't want it. They said that it was too violent. They wouldn't know entertainment if it bit them in the-"
A cell phone rang off. Everyone scrambled to check if it was theirs. It was Goku's.
"Hello?" he answered. "You wanna know if we're going to do the Christmas special. You know what happened when Star Wars did it. I'm not up for it, I don't my show to suffer." He then hung up.
"What do mean this is your show?!" cried Bulma. "I'm the second main character. I'm the leading lady!"
"Yeah Goku. I'm your wife, aren't we equal partners?!" exclaimed Chi-Chi. Then she turned to Bulma. "What do you mean by saying that you're the leading lady?!"
"Ooh, catfight," snickered Trunks.
"You stay out of this!" cried the two women.
"That's no way to treat your own son!" he retaliated.
Everyone starting bickering as old conflicts re-emerged.
"Shut up, you freak!"
"At least I get a bigger paycheck, and more lines!"
"I want a separation!"
"I'll take this to court!"
"You'll never work in this town again!"
Those were the many insults that echoed throughout the Capsule Corp. compound.
Additional Notes: I haven't seen the DBZ eye-droppers commercial, so I made my own. Also, I had to make another Xena reference, sorry, I just can't stop thinking about the resemblances between the four women. Star Wars is one of my favourite interests, and that explains the Christmas special. Please, tell me what you thought about this fic, I need some constructive criticism to make me a better writer.