Disclaimer: I don't own Molson beer or the commercial.  I also don't own Dragon Ball Z or its characters.

Author's Notes: A sequel to "The Saiyan Rant".  Dayna suggested that this fic be done.  This is dedicated to all you DBZ humour fans!

The Namek Rant

Goku:  *bows* Thank you. *steps off the stage*

*People get up from their seats and start to leave.*

Piccolo:  *in the back of the audience* I could do better than that...

Dende:  Then go up there!  You'd make all of us Nameks proud.

*Piccolo flies up to the stage and grabs the microphone.*

Piccolo:  Wait!  Everyone, I have something to say-

Crowd:  *gets back in their seats* *chanting* Speech!  Speech!  Speech!

Piccolo:  Will you all shut up?!

*The crowd falls silent.*

Piccolo:  Alright.  Now, I'm not a monster or a demon.  I live in the desert, drink water and own a turban.  I know Dende, Nail, and Kami from Namek, and I'm certain that they are very nice.  I have an elder, not a president.  I pronounce it "hell", not "HFIL".  I can't sew anything.  I believe in sparring, not studying; regeneration, not amputation, and that green is a proud and noble colour.  A cape is a weight.  An egg is a means of reproduction.  And it's "Makankosappo", OK, not "the beam cannon", Makankpsappo.  Namek was a planet, the holder of the healers, and is the first nation of the dragon balls.  My name is Piccolo, and I am a Namek!

*Silence.  A cricket chirps.*

Vegeta:  You really screwed that one up, green man!

Goku:  At least I like it.  Even though he used one of my lines.

*Piccolo smacks himself on the head.*

The End

Additional Author's Notes: Joe, for those readers who haven't seen the first one, can you recite it again?

Joe:  I'm really tired of doing this...

Do it, or else I sic Vegeta on you.  And probably even Piccolo.

Joe:  Eep.  "I'm not a lumberjack or a fur trader.  I don't live in an igloo, eat blubber or own a dogsled.  I don't know Jimmy, Suzie or Sally from Canada, although I'm certain they're very nice.  I have a prime minister, not a president.  I speak English and French, not American.  And I pronounce it "a-bout" not "a-boot."  I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.  I believe in peacekeeping, not policing; diversity, not assimilation, and that the beaver is a proud and noble animal.  A toque is a hat.  A chesterfield is a couch.  And it's pronounced Zed, OK, not Zee, Zed.  Canada is the second-largest land mass, the first nation of hockey and the best part of North America.  My name is Joe and I am Canadian.  Thank you."  *mutters* Can't come up with a new 0line for pronunciation.

That's it!  Vegeta!  Piccolo!  That's the guy who started this whole thing!

Vegeta:  You won't escape... MY WRATH!!!

Piccolo:  Yo' gonna get whack, fo'!

*Joe runs, screaming, while Vegeta and Piccolo chase him.*

If you haven't seen the commercial yet, I suggest you get a satellite dish that receives Canadian channels.  Or suffer the same fate as Joe!