Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or its characters, they belong to Akira Toriyama.
Author's Notes: This little ficcy is a DBZ twist on a little fairy tale I read in one of my old story books. It's called "Lazybones and his Spider Bride".
Goku and His Cow Bride
Once upon a time, there was a kingdom full of fighters and warriors. Let's call this kingdom, oh, let's say, Vegeta, and its people were Saiyans. Well, the people knew no other way of life than fighting and training and getting stronger. Even the royal family was full of fighters! And instead of sitting in their thrones, they would spar all day with each other in the royal training grounds.
Now, born into this kingdom of Saiyans was a boy, named Kakarrot. His father was Bardock. Unfortunately, one day, Bardock was a bit careless, and dropped poor Kakarrot right on the head! Since then, that little boy grew up to be a fighter, albeit dumb and weak in the eyes of everyone. So they nicknamed him "Goku", so as to make fun of him. But Goku took the teasing stride with his perpetual cheeriness, although it irked his tormentors to no end.
Since everyone saw Goku as much of a nuisance, they left him out of their sparring matches. Since Goku had nothing to do, he just spent the rest of his days laying back and reclining on a yellow nimbus cloud, which he called Kintoun.
Bardock didn't want his son to grow up even more of a disgrace, and one day scolded him. "Kakarrot! You're a warrior, I'm a warrior, my father was a warrior, our whole family is nothing but warriors! When will you stop sitting all day on that cloud and start training?!"
"But father," he replied happily, "all the other boys won't let me spar with them! They think I'm weak and stupid."
"That's because you are," Bardock muttered under his breath. "Why don't you go out into the world and find some other trade to do? Or why don't you find a mate?" he asked out loud.
"It'd be a shame if I broke tradition. The day I go out into the world and find a mate is the day this cloud moves on its own." No sooner had the words been said had Kintoun started to flit around the room, with a surprised Goku hanging onto it for dear life.
Since Goku had to keep his promise, he steered Kintoun to fly out the door and to the nearest training dojo.
Inside, he saw very many attractive and pretty females. Two were currently engaged in their own sparring match, and the other girls were on the sidelines, watching intently. Kintoun strode up beside one of the girls and he introduced himself. "Hello! I'm Kakarrot, but everyone calls me Goku. Will you be my mate?"
Interest piqued, the girl leaned over to him. "What can you do?"
"Um, I'm a fighter!" he proudly replied.
The girl scoffed in disgust. "Oh yes, another one. Their so easy to find here, especially the weak ones." And she turned away from him.
Disappointed, but undeterred, Goku commanded Kintoun to go down the first road leading away from the kingdom. The first road he took led him down a deep forest. It was too deep, and so Goku and the cloud wandered aimlessly through the trees. Into the night, he was drawn to a light through the trees.
The cloud drifted over to the direction of the light, and we he finally reached it, he found himself surrounded by royal looking guards.
"You! Identify yourself!" one of them barked. "You are trespassing on the princess' camp!"
They readied their spears at Goku's neck, and were about to strike when a beautiful blue haired girl broke through the crowd.
"Boys, show some respect to your liege! Will you be quiet? I'm trying to get my beauty sleep," said the girl sleepily. She looked at the boy riding a cloud. An amused look crossed her face. "Oh! How interesting! Boys, at ease."
The guards lowered their spears and stepped away while the princess strode up to Goku. "Hello, I'm Princess Bulma. Who would you be?"
"I'm Goku. Hey, you're really pretty, why don't you be my mate?"
"Well, you're kinda cute! Of course I'd be happy to marry you! If that's what you mean. So, what do you do?"
"I'm into an honest trade, I'm a fighter!" he exclaimed proudly.
Another look of disgust was on Bulma's face. "Ew! You want to marry me, yet punish me! I'm royalty, my parents were royalty, and my grandparents were royalty! How dare I mix with common blood! My ancestors would soon turn over in their graves!" She waved her hand at her guards. "Boys, pack up. We're moving on for the rest of the night. I'm sure I can make it to see Prince Vegeta by morning. That treaty does seem more important right now."
Goku watched as the princess stepped into her carriage and the guards quickly packed up and moved on their way. So Goku was left alone for the rest of the night.
"Drat the fighting trade!" cried Goku into the night.
By morning, Goku was well rested and he set on his way on Kintoun. He eventually found his way out of the woods and back on the road again.
Goku thought he heard some shuffling and looked behind him. He saw an old man (*could*MasterRoshi*cough*) hobbling slowly. Goku took pity on the old man. "Hey Gramps! You seem tired, why don't you hop on my cloud? You look like you could take a break."
The old man nodded and hopped on. "Thank you very much!" the old man replied.
They traveled in silence for the rest of the way, and Goku, being ever so cheerful, decided to strike up a conversation.
"So where are you off to?"
"The nearest town."
"To look for a girl, of course!"
"Oh, you mean a mate, or a wife?"
"Oh no! Just a young girl who can show this old man a good time before he dies." The old man's mouth started to drool at the very thought.
"Well, I am. Do you know where I can find one?"
"You know boy, I like you. And I think I can help you out. Farther down this road is an old farm on a hill. Say the magic words and you wish will be answered." The old man leaned into Goku's ear and whispered the words. After speaking, he vanished in a puff of smoke.
The young man wasted no time, and Kintoun sped off to the old abandoned farm.
The sight surprised him. This was the last place he would expect to find anyone. The barn was old and run down, and the grass on the hill was growing amuck with large oxeye daisies dotting the area.
So Goku spoke the magic words. "All flowers are beautiful but loveliest of all is the daisy. Please be my guide and show me my bride."
A breeze blew through the barn, and a dainty milk cow came out. It mooed, but Goku understood it. It seemed to have said, "Here I am!"
Goku looked around, hoping to find someone else. But no one was there. "Oh great. I try to be nice to that old man, and he goes and plays some trick on me!" Hoping the cow wouldn't hear, he muttered under his breath, "Would you care as to marry me, cow girl?"
It mooed happily in reply. "Yes, of course I would!"
And that was that.
What could poor old Goku do? He had to stick true to his word. So grabbing an old piece of rope lying around, he tied it around the cow's neck, hopped back on Kintoun and made their way to the nearest town.
The town was full of thieves! Even the king would swindle his own advisors out of their money. Where ever one was, they couldn't turn their back without having their purses pick pocketed. Goku could set up practice as the law of the town.
"There would be no shortage of work here," was what Goku's cow bride "said".
Also at his bride's urging, they set up outside the town and Goku made the house with his bare hands. Not wasting a single moment as soon as it was built, the dainty milk cow went about cleaning the house.
Goku wasn't about to be outdone by a cow! He may be stupid, but he had his pride.
You could say that the two lived a content little life. But every night, a beautiful, yet sad, princess appeared in Goku's dreams.
She would sob and plead to Goku that he should marry her. Goku really did feel sorry for the girl, and he couldn't keep his eyes off of her, but he would politely turn her away.
"I'm really sorry miss. I can't, I'm already taken. Why don't you find someone who is another prince?"
The princess would give him one more pleading and desperate look before disappearing.
So Goku worked even harder to keep the strange princess off his mind, and soon he brought order to the unruly town.
When the time came that everyone in the kingdom were upstanding and honest citizens, Goku's cow bride urged him that they go and visit Goku's home and that she meet his parents.
Well, he couldn't fight against her, no matter what, and so they set out on the road. On the way, Goku was thinking about how even more he would be ridiculed.
Caught up in his thinking he didn't notice when they reached the old barn on the hill.
"Ah... This is where we met, remember? Why don't we rest here?"
"Sure thing dear!" agreed Goku. The closer they reached his home kingdom, the more Goku wanted to dawdle.
So he hopped off his cloud, and with the rope in hand, he led her to the barn. Both of them sat inside and rested in a leftover stack of hay.
Suddenly, the barn began to shake and change. The hill grew to be a mountain, and the barn turned into an elaborate palace.
Goku looked at the rope in his hand and found that instead, he was holding someone's hand. He looked up and was facing the princess of his dreams.
"Oh thank you dear husband. I am Princess Chi-Chi, and I was under a magic spell, and yet you remained faithful to me. You're no longer a simple warrior, you're the king of the Oxen Kingdom. Now let us greet our subjects."
The princess took her husband's hand, they stepped out onto a balcony. Below them, they saw the many maids, butlers, knights, and other assorted servants cheering and happily greeting the couple.
Goku had sent orders that his family attend the grand and official wedding for the two of them. For tradition, he took upon himself to teach his wife some basic martial arts techniques.
When the great party began, Goku took his bride for a traditional sparring display for everyone. He won the match when a simple push sent her flying through a wall! And although she was proud of him, she was crying tears as big as peas.
He looked dumbfounded at his father for advice. "Why is my wife crying?"
Bardock knocked Goku upside the head. "You're a fine warrior, but instead of a friendly spar and going easy on her, you beat her senseless!"
Goku blushed out of embarrassment and rushed to tend to his wife's minor wounds.
Aditional Author's Notes: Well, I hope you enjoyed this little piece of fluff! Please, please, please read and review!